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a soft exhale for the year that was


12/31/18



          There’s this superstition that if you have twelve different fruits on your dinner table by the time it’s the New Year, you will have good luck. This year, we have six. I watch my mom arrange the cherries over the apples and pomelos. I ask, “How many do we have?”

“Six. It’s okay, we never finish them anyway,” she chuckled.

          New Year’s this year will come with no preparation. I haven’t whipped up resolutions or taken up my usual cycle of gratefulness– there are no letters, messages in the inboxes of my friends. I woke up this afternoon with all the lights in the house turned off, the gentle pitter patter of rain outside gradually getting louder. I’ve had a fever for the past three days, I’m still looking for the good to come out of it– it’s what I’ve been trying to do with most things.